Lawmen of New South Wales,
Commeth the hour, commeth the man. I am writing to you by electronic transmission to ask your support as I seek election for the Large Firm position at this year’s Law Society Council elections. This email is unrelated to any I may have previously sent to your in your capacity as a potential conduit of Nigerian financing opportunities. For the avoidance of doubt, those offers remain open.
At literally any moment now you will receive your ballot papers from the NSW Law Society. Here is what I will stand for when I am elected to the Law Society Council:
a) The wholesale repeal of CLERP 7, in all of its insidious guises.
b) The appointment of Wyatt Roy and Justin Bieber to the Juvenile Justice Sub-Committee of the Law Society of NSW.
c) Using the corporations power to overcome the High Court’s lamentable Octaviar decision.
d) Convening a citizens’ assembly to resolve once and for all whether there is a fifth category in Masters v Cameron.
e) Outlawing severability clauses.
f) Stopping jurisprudential waste and turning back the boats.
For those of you that are unaware of my many, many distinguished years as a Lawman, I have set out below a brief ‘snap shot’ of career highlights:
· Career victories against Sir Garfield Barwick: 2
· Golden Gavel winner, 1945
· Internationally renowned authority on the training and discipline of hounds
· Author of Whitelocke: On Lawmanship 3rd Edition and countless other learned texts, including ‘Mary Sidney Herbert: A Winsome Spinster’ and ‘The Separation of Canon and Common Law: Eight (8) Centuries of Legal Madness’
In short, I will bring erudition, accountability, dignity and a detailed knowledge of the training of hounds to the role of large Firm Member, which for too long has been dominated by the vested interests of solicitors who work for large firms.
If you agree that these ideas are right for our time, then please vote for me in the Law Society Council elections.
A faint heart never won a fair maiden. Be brave and vote.
Kind regards,
Bullstrode Whitelocke K.C.
Knight of the Thistle, Order of the Companions of Honour, Knight of the Hutt River Province, President of the Australian Chapter of the Stone Masons, 18 times Heraclitus Society Man of the Year, The Leverhulme Medal for the application of Heraclitus to Chemistry, The Royal Guelphic Order, Knight Grand Commander of The Most Eminent Order of the Indian Empire, Kaisar-I-Hind Medal, Officer of the Order of Australia, Australian Antarctic Medal, Champion Shots Medal.
Albert Bathurst Piddington Chambers
Showing posts with label Sir Garfield Barwick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sir Garfield Barwick. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Bullstrode's Latin Phrase Book: Res Ipsa Loquitur
Res Ipsa Loquitur: This glorious phrase means "the thing itself speaks". In fact, Res Ipsa Loquitur was the original working title for my screen play that ultimately became the moving picture comedy smash “Look Who’s Talking”.
The first reference to this phrase can be found in Cicero's wonderful speech “Pro Milone”, while its use in jurisprudence can be traced back to Baron Pollock’s wildly controversial 1863 judgement Byrne v Boadle.
Unfortunately, the phrase is generally bastardised these days to mean: "the thing speaks for itself." In both recognising and subtly drawing attention to the manifest wrongness of this colloquial usage, I brilliantly used Res Ipsa Loquitur in Whitelocke: On Lawmanship 3rd Edition (it was redacted in the first two editions) when describing a highly successful ruse I use with my good friend Geoffrey Rush to impress spinsters:
[Transcript from a conversation in club in Perth]
Rush: (Loudly) Excuse me, sir, aren’t you that famous barrister who once bested Sir Garfield Barwick in a university debate, not to mention being largely responsible for the extinction of the Eastern Spotted Quoll?
Whitelocke: “Well, sir, I am a wealthy, famous and unmarried barrister and, yes, if I could be so forthright, I did give both old Gary and those pesky quolls such a flogging that each thought themselves to be a prudish cabin boy on the First Fleet.
* * * * * *
The recognition that this ruse afforded me would have been res ipsa loquitur in Sydney or in London, but in the provinces it served me to good effect.
The first reference to this phrase can be found in Cicero's wonderful speech “Pro Milone”, while its use in jurisprudence can be traced back to Baron Pollock’s wildly controversial 1863 judgement Byrne v Boadle.
Unfortunately, the phrase is generally bastardised these days to mean: "the thing speaks for itself." In both recognising and subtly drawing attention to the manifest wrongness of this colloquial usage, I brilliantly used Res Ipsa Loquitur in Whitelocke: On Lawmanship 3rd Edition (it was redacted in the first two editions) when describing a highly successful ruse I use with my good friend Geoffrey Rush to impress spinsters:
[Transcript from a conversation in club in Perth]
Rush: (Loudly) Excuse me, sir, aren’t you that famous barrister who once bested Sir Garfield Barwick in a university debate, not to mention being largely responsible for the extinction of the Eastern Spotted Quoll?
Whitelocke: “Well, sir, I am a wealthy, famous and unmarried barrister and, yes, if I could be so forthright, I did give both old Gary and those pesky quolls such a flogging that each thought themselves to be a prudish cabin boy on the First Fleet.
* * * * * *
The recognition that this ruse afforded me would have been res ipsa loquitur in Sydney or in London, but in the provinces it served me to good effect.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Finally my time has come!
Exciting news friends!
After years of politicking, lobbying, campaigning and generally greasing the palms of almost every single voter in the state, I have finally succeeded in removing the last barrier to my long overdue elevation to the Bench.
Last week, my bitter enemies in the Victorian State Government, to their deep chagrin, finally passed the Equal Opportunity Act 2010 (Act).
As a result of my relentless energy, the Act has removed a number of clearly unconstitutional exceptions to unlawful behaviour, the most important of which is the compulsory retirement of judicial officers . Grey power is back!
Blessedly, I am now able to be, and no doubt soon will be, elevated to the Bench! It has been a lasting regret of mine that, despite my brief stint on the Midwifery Tribunal in the late 1950’s I never chose to accept the many offers I received to take a seat on the Bench before I turned 75. The rejections, largely driven by my hatred of Sir Garfield Barwick and my refusal to sit down in public, were reasonable, but have nevertheless left a deep longing in both my loins and heart. Despite having never practiced law in Victoria and the likelihood that I will be the stately age of 91 when the amendments come into effect, now is finally my time to put yet another indelible stamp on Australia’s common law.
I imagine this amendment is the first domino and soon enough this type of legislation will follow throughout the country and within the next decade I will be able to be the first ever centenarian High Court judge.
Soon I will take my place alongside Võ Nguyên Giáp, Kathleen Ollerenshaw, Huang Hua and Michel Mohrt as one of the great older persons of the present day.
Tragically, however, a terrible bi-product of my furious criticism of the Victorian Equal Opportunities Act has been the removal of the exception permitting workplaces to set the standards of dress and behaviour in a way considered “discriminatory”. I am reserving my right to pursue legal action against the Victorian Government if they attempt to ban the wasp-waist frock coat amongst my otherwise disgracefully unpresentable readers.
After years of politicking, lobbying, campaigning and generally greasing the palms of almost every single voter in the state, I have finally succeeded in removing the last barrier to my long overdue elevation to the Bench.
Last week, my bitter enemies in the Victorian State Government, to their deep chagrin, finally passed the Equal Opportunity Act 2010 (Act).
As a result of my relentless energy, the Act has removed a number of clearly unconstitutional exceptions to unlawful behaviour, the most important of which is the compulsory retirement of judicial officers . Grey power is back!
Blessedly, I am now able to be, and no doubt soon will be, elevated to the Bench! It has been a lasting regret of mine that, despite my brief stint on the Midwifery Tribunal in the late 1950’s I never chose to accept the many offers I received to take a seat on the Bench before I turned 75. The rejections, largely driven by my hatred of Sir Garfield Barwick and my refusal to sit down in public, were reasonable, but have nevertheless left a deep longing in both my loins and heart. Despite having never practiced law in Victoria and the likelihood that I will be the stately age of 91 when the amendments come into effect, now is finally my time to put yet another indelible stamp on Australia’s common law.
I imagine this amendment is the first domino and soon enough this type of legislation will follow throughout the country and within the next decade I will be able to be the first ever centenarian High Court judge.
Soon I will take my place alongside Võ Nguyên Giáp, Kathleen Ollerenshaw, Huang Hua and Michel Mohrt as one of the great older persons of the present day.
Tragically, however, a terrible bi-product of my furious criticism of the Victorian Equal Opportunities Act has been the removal of the exception permitting workplaces to set the standards of dress and behaviour in a way considered “discriminatory”. I am reserving my right to pursue legal action against the Victorian Government if they attempt to ban the wasp-waist frock coat amongst my otherwise disgracefully unpresentable readers.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Bullstrode's Latin phrase book: Volenti non fit injuria
Volenti non fit injuria. Pronounced "Volenti [pause] non [pause] fit [pause] injuria"
This handy phrase means "to a willing person, no injury is done". It is a full defence in tort law, one that I have called upon on many, many occasions.
Example of usage: "Sir Garfield Barwick might not have challenged Bullstrode Whitelocke to so many debates if he was better acquainted with the maxim volenti non fit injuria"
This handy phrase means "to a willing person, no injury is done". It is a full defence in tort law, one that I have called upon on many, many occasions.
Example of usage: "Sir Garfield Barwick might not have challenged Bullstrode Whitelocke to so many debates if he was better acquainted with the maxim volenti non fit injuria"
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