Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Eden Monaro Decides: A day in the life of a hardworking candidate with uncommonly good posture

Gentle reader,

A somewhat surprising fact that has come to my attention throughout this campaign is that the young folk in the boxing clubs and calisthenics clinics of the Southern Highlands are interested in the day to day of an election campaign. And so, a brief insight into an average day in the life of a hardworking candidate for the seat of Eden Monaro.

6am: Early morning constitutional. Tony Abbott religiously rides 38 km every morning to prepare himself, mentally and physically for the day ahead. I have never owned a bicycle and am deeply suspicious of those that do. My preferred form of early-morning exercise is a stimulating 4 hour hunt of the elusive Hoary-headed Grebe with my good friends Matt Preston and Ben Cousins.

10am Hearty breakfast of Hoary Headed Grebe on sour-dough with a glass of sherry.

11am Strategy planning session at campaign HQ (the front room of the Pambula bowls club) with my campaign advisers. This is an intense 15 minute session at which we discuss the latest numbers: namly the poll results on www.news.com.au "Entertainment" section, the latest European Carp population figures and the mysteries of pi.

11.15am - 1pm Radio appearances. In this exciting technological age every candidate for election must put his best foot forward in all forms of media. I was lucky enough to be described by Barry White as having 'the voice of an angel' and leverage off this at every opportunity. Of course, I insist that all radio appearances are scripted by my advisers, that my commercial sponsors receive an even handed treatment and that I am permitted to bring my vintage 1950s 'Hornblower' microphone.

So, there you have it - another exhausting day comes to a close!

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